Tears in the Rain

Posted: June 1, 2009 in Short Stories

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“I wish we could be kids forever and stay here at our place until we would eventually grow up! Too bad your family is leaving soon Cassandrah”, Cisco said. It had been a long, sunny and exhausting afternoon. Beneath a blossoming tree, two young hearts lay as they blissfully glazed at the hovering vastness of the purple-blue sky.

“We could still see each other when we’re old, right Cisco?”, I answered my childhood buddy, Francisco Mercado, as the cool breeze swept over  my face and seemed to blow all my fears goodbye.

“I wish I could be the sky so that I can watch over you across the miles, Sandrah,” he added.

As I caught a glimpse of the heavens, raindrops suddenly caressed my cherubic cheeks.

“And when it rains, it means that  I’m crying because I am missing you so bad, and when you’re terribly upset and miserable, just look into the heavens and there you’ll see me smiling at you”, I promised.

Days and nights were slowly passing by and the day came that my family and I had to move somewhere else. I really didn’t know where exactly but I overheard my mom say that it was in New Jersey. I hated leaving my best friend but it’s already given in our culture that family always comes first.

My watch already read 8:45 and our flight was going to be at 9:00am. I had been anxiously waiting for him at the airport since 8:00am. I wonder where Cisco was. Isn’t he going to bid me farewell? Grr..how rude!

“Well, I guess he won’t be showing up!,” I said to myself s my eyes got a little misty and my vision cloudy. A part of me hated him for being such a chicken ass and a part of me longed to see him before I leave. After all, he’s my best friend, right? I do deserve his farewell.

“Sandrah, the plane will be leaving any minute from now. I want you to stay close to me darling. Make it fast, little Ms. Cassandrah del Rosario, Mom summoned as  she busied herself with the rest of our belongings.

Meanwhile, a frail little 13-year-old boy was having a tough time going against the crowd at the airport vicinity just to catch up with his best friend.

“I guess he really won’t be coming, yes, mom, I’m coming”, I told her.

Anyway, I was the only passenger left. Then a steward came over towards me and asked me to follow my mother before it was too late. As we were approaching a glass door, I heard a familiar voice calling my name. But it was too late to turn back. Mom was forcefully gripping my hand that it was hard to let go. I was totally helpless. All that was left for me to do was to whisper, “Au revoir, Cisco”. I hoped that the wind carried my last few words to him.

“Arriverdeci, Cassandrah”, Cisco whispered as tears unnoticeably streamed forth from his eyes.

And so, this story goes, both of us had to live our own separate lives. I had to adjust and adapt to a bunch of things. I’ve gathered a couple of acquaintances and peers and learned to handle people from different races. Living in a highly technological and urban world really was a challenge from me. I’ve been through a lot of jobs and relationships, countless traveling and partying so I finally decided to settle down.

At twenty-five, after all the no good relationships I had and all the meager and bizarre love-making with a handful of men, I did march down the aisle and promised to be forever with Mr. Pete Mayfair (I wonder if he is a  descendant of the Mayfair witches). Well, anyway, he was the second man who made my heart skip a beat and rendered me completely lifeless and vulnerable under his arms and the curse of his lips.

My life actually turned out well and things were actually turning out as they were supposed to be but not until one night when Pete and I had to attend a company’s banquet. I decided to put on a simple designer’s cut black dress that perfectly fit the curves of my body and settled on a pair of diamond earrings. Simple, yet elegant-it surely defined me!

The night was totally young and I was indeed enjoying and helping myself to their world-class wines and satisfy my senses with their sumptuous buffet. I excused myself from Pete because I wanted to ask something from a connoisseur nearby. I was a fan of the culinary arts when I was a teenager but it never really occurred to me to pursue it as a career. While I was feasting my eyes on the different array of dishes, a voice knocked on me.

“ Uhm, miss, do you happen to know where I might find Mr. Pete Mayfair?”, the voice asked.

“Just look straight to your left and there you’ll see him”, I answered without even turning to see who it was who asked.

I was actually so busy poring over the food. But his voice intrigued and mystified me and I turned for once to see who it was but to my dismay, he already started moving towards the crowd. I tried to focus myself again on the dishes but I couldn’t help from turning around once again.

“Oh my God”, I whispered to myself as I saw him advancing towards me, bringing along with him a brightly lit face and a smile that made my heart beat so fast and a stature that melted my knees!

“Cisco, is that you?” I asked the man.

He hugged me tight without even answering me but I knew it then. I guess when you love a person, you just can tell.

“Sandrah, it really is you. I missed you so much”, he said with such a pleasing tone.

“You have grown so much!”

Before I could even utter a word, Pete showed up right beside him.

“Cisco, this is my husband, Pete. Pete, this is Cisco, a friend from our place”’ I said nervously.

“Oh! Mr. Pete Mayfair! I’ve been looking all over for you. I am the representative of the Mayfair Group of Companies in the Philippines. It’s really a pleasure to meet you Sir”, Cisco said as he offered a handshake.

“It’s a pleasure too, Cisco. I guess my wife and I will be leaving now. I’ll see you at the board meeting tomorrow”, Pete answered.

“Au revoir, Cisco”, I gently said to him.

A flicker of passion was still burning inside of me.

“Arriverdecci”, he replied with a faint voice.

I couldn’t concentrate the following morning at the office, knowing that Francisco would be staying here for at least a month. Could it be that a part of me still longs for him? Oh, stupid me! Why am I entertaining such thoughts! Is this a stage set for adultery? No way will I ever commit that mortal sin! No, not ever in the eyes of God!

As I was pacing back and forth, somebody knocked on the door.

“Come in”, I commanded.

“Oh, it’s you Cisco. Please have a seat. Can I offer you something? Coffee, tea, soda?

“No, thanks. I’m fine. I just wanted to tell you something you ought to know from the start”, he paused for awhile.rain

“I know it’s way too late to tell you this, but I’ve been keeping this for nearly a decade and I know that I’ll never be at peace with myself if I would keep this. I was left wanting to tell the woman I love how much she haunted me in my dreams. We were 13 years old then, innocent as we were, I never expected that this feeling would grow more and more each day. I promised myself that I’d see her again one day. I waited patiently for the years to pass me by and finally here she is right now, in front of me.”

Every word he said stabbed my heart so bad. Tears gushed forth my eyes unconsciously and the memories kept coming right in front of my very eyes. I went over the glass window overlooking the metropolis. All this time, I never really stopped loving him. I just learned to live without him. He came near me and put his arms around me. He rendered me so defenseless that I didn’t have the strength to resist. He wiped my tears dry and kissed me tenderly and longingly, and then he went away rushing so fast that I didn’t have the chance to express how I felt. We both knew this was wrong.

All of a sudden, my feet were dragging me in his direction. I rushed downstairs and went outside the office, looked around and finally spotted him. What am I doing?

“You’re doing the right thing, sweetheart”, a voice inside me said.

Various emotions were brewing up inside me.

“Cisco, wait!” I shouted at the top of my lungs as he was crossing the street.

He turned around to face me but suddenly the world turned bloody red. A car was rushing by and hit him hard. I was totally freaking out and a couple of minutes after, I felt like the world was turning around in circles. Darkness then enveloped my eyes and it was way too late that I realized that I had fainted and unfortunately hit my head hard on a pole nearby.

I woke up in a brightly lit immaculate white room. I tried to gather all my senses. Oh dear, am I in the hospital? Cisco! His name kept ringing in my mind. The events were slowly rushing back into my memory. I got up from my bed and went to the nurses’ station. After finding out that he was in a critical condition, I urgently rushed into his room, finding it bare and the nurse stripping his bed.

“Uhmm…Excuse me nurse, do you happen to know where the patients is in this room?” I asked her.

“His body has already been transported to the morgue, ma’am”, the nurse replied.

As she was saying those words, my feet were slowly melting and I was struck with immense shock. The nurse was explaining to me everything that happened in a tender manner but I was too aghast to understand what she said. She told me he had committed voluntary euthanasia due to a severe spinal injury.  His condition was deteriorating fast. I was crying hard and then I remembered the nurse handing me a piece of paper. On it were the words that I could hardly take:

Sandrah,

I can’t go on loving you like this forever. I loved you, from the day we met and exchange and said hellos…

Cisco

“No!” I screamed and cried my heart out. I hastened to the hospital’s rooftop and there I burst into tears. I hadn’t even told him how much I loved him. Life is worthless without him and I’d rather die than continue to live in hypocrisy.

As I closed my eyes, ready to fall from the building, large drops of rain touched my face. Then the memories came rushing back in my thoughts. The promises we made on that very afternoon. Our childhood memories flooded my entire soul. Then I looked into the heavens and there he was…..

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